Role-Locking Could Be Coming To The Major League Soccer

NEW YORK - Today, a collection of Major League Soccer memos leaked that THE Major League Soccer is apparently looking at copying Overwatch League by implementing role-locking.

“If only we could get these kinds of spectacles”

Mary Altaffer - The Washington Post/File

Sources within the league indicate that MLS looked towards the popular E-Sports league in order to figure out how to re-invigorate their competition as they toyed around with the idea of role locking all Major League Soccer teams to a 4-4-2 team composition.

“We noticed the popularity of Overwatch and realized that we may have something to learn from them. After all, the league actually got airtime on ABC recently and we’ve been relegated to ESPNews,” stated one anonymous insider. “So where they are locking team compositions to two damage-dealers, two supports, and two tanks, we are looking at locking team compositions to four defenders, four midfielders and two forwards.”

The memos indicate that teams and players would be restricted by the new rules in both composition and position on the field.

“If you are defender you can only play within the first third of the field,” stated the memo. “If a player advances beyond that position then a foul is immediately called and the ball is turned over to the other team. Midfielders can only play within the middle third of the field and forwards can only play in the final third of the field.”

Sources indicate that Major League Soccer is hoping that this will prevent them from opening the purse strings during the next Collective Bargaining Agreement.

“We are going to enforce players to be the players you think they are,” stated one anonymous General Manager. “No more marauding fullbacks, no more false 9 midfielders. Forwards will finally play forward, defenders will be tanks and your defensive midfielder will not be making game saving clearances off the line. It’s been a long time coming that we listened to fans of other games. This will finally simplify the game for American audiences. This is Foosball for football. I think it’s finally time that the world admitted that Johan Cruyff was full of shit and total football is a lie.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Major League Soccer tries to exceed the television ratings for competitive Overwatch.