Woman Torn Between Rooting For United States And Rooting For The President

Des Moines, IA - 48 year old soccer fan, registered republican and Donald Trump supporter Ida Stonebrook admitted that she was torn between rooting for the United States in the World Cup and rooting for the President as he fulfills her recent dream of putting all immigrants from Guatemala in camps.


“I support OUR President,” stated Stonebrook to The Nutmeg News. “And if rooting for France will allow me to hate Rapinoe and ensure that our streets are free of evil immigrants then I hope that the United States loses.”

Stonebrook admitted that she supported the United States in previous World Cups, but that the recent actions by Megan Rapinoe and the response by President Donald Trump to those actions made her reconsider her dedication to the United States.

“I will not support someone who does not stand and sing for the national anthem,” stated Stonebrook as she prepared snacks for the watch party through the playing of the American national anthem. "If loving the United States means hating the United States then I’m willing to hate the United States as long as the President of the United States tells me that hating the United States players is really loving the United States by rooting against the United States.”

With the game building to a fever pitch, Stonebrook celebrated the France goal with a vigorous USA-USA-USA chant as she became giddy with the idea of all the, “sad liberals if the United States loses this game.”

“I hope the United States loses so that the United States fans will understand that if you want the United States to win you need to root against the United States and support the President."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Stonebrook forgets any of this ever happens in 5 years as she says, “I’m not political, and I wish they would keep it out of sports.”