England And United States Struggling To Contain The Right Wing And Also There's A Soccer Game

Worldwide pundits indicate that both England and the United States are struggling to contain the right wing and they also note that there’s a soccer game coming up between the two countries.


“Indeed, I think that this strong right wing play could potentially lead to a disastrous outcome for the state of the worldwide geopolitical landscape,” stated William Foster Graham of the Peace Coalition Institute. “There’s also a football game between the two countries coming up which will allow all of us to be temporarily distracted from the kerfuffle going on around us that will likely end in ruins for most everyone involved.”

According to pollsters, most fans of the two countries are trying to rationalize their own world view against the prevailing interests of the politicians that vaguely represent their interests as individuals bellow their frustration into an un-listening void called, “the internet.”

“I’d really just like to buy a ticket to a soccer game and be able to drink a beer and forget about the state of everything that seems to be shitting on me on a daily basis,” stated soccer fan Julie Davids. “At this point, I’m just so overwhelmed with all this wing play that I would love to relax for 90 minutes, if it wasn’t a trip to the finals on the line.”

Soccer pundit Elizabeth Stewart stated that the fans of both countries should have a common set of experiences and interests that align them close together as long as they don’t read the newspapers, listen to commentators or read conspiracy laden online diatribes that soak into our every day life.

“Fans of both countries should be used to being marginalized pawns at the control of a large and moderately incompetent party that only seems to care every four years and is seemingly incapable of stopping the aggressive march of nationalism and racism on the rise ….. and also the soccer federations. So, here we are.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as we try to speak to a historian about these connections, but they tell us that they’ve just given up explaining things to people anymore and that we are all on our own.