Orlando, FL - Orlando City fan Rafael Murillo tweeted, “Ok, I’m watching the second half without distractions,” as he continued to surf Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook on his cell phone while the D.C. United and Orlando City game played in the background.
According to Murillo, he spent most of the first half of the game looking at his cell phone, taking selfies with his Orlando City scarf for Instagram, looking for an appropriate GIF to represent the only passing sequence that he watched, hashtagging various comments about the rest of the game he wasn’t watching, looking up stats for Nani, and reading a Twitter thread about Ariana Grande and the New York Times Music section.
“I watched the first kick and…………….. um……………. hold on,” stated Murillo as he looked at a thread about concentration camps past and present. “And……. I…… uh……..uh……… Ok…… see this is pretty interesting right here,” he stated as he turned the phone to show an old picture of Times Square that was colorized to show fashion from the 1940’s.
While the game continued on in the second half, Murillo reportedly took a stand against his cell phone usage as he put the phone down emphatically, settled into the couch and watched intently for 30 seconds before picking up his phone to look up a reference made by the commentators that sent him into a fact finding frenzy that ended up with him joining an Orlando City discord chat room and posting Sponge Bob memes.
“It’s hard these days to have a focused attention,” stated Murillo as he looked at his cell phone again, unlocked the device with his fingerprint, locked it again and then put it back down before he picked it up again to scroll through the one Instagram picture posted in the 30 seconds since he looked at it last. “But I’m going to watch the last 15 minut………… oh man, hold on… you gotta see this freaking video of this goat.”
Murillo wrapped up his evening by tweeting, “that Acosta goal was a long time coming,” despite it being scored in the first half and being scored by Wayne Rooney.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Murillo’s festering depression about the world as a whole increases bit by bit as he continues to surf social media until 11:45 pm when he realizes that he needs to get up for work in 6 hours.