Furious Stan Kroenke Promises To Fire Assistant That Bothered Him About The Colorado Rapids

Denver, CO - A furious Stan Kroenke promised to fire the assistant that bothered him about the Colorado Rapids, this weekend, as the reclusive owner continued to promote his elephant hunting television channel in peace.


“I did not buy these teams to have to hear about them again,” stated Kroenke to his butler. “I don’t care what Anthony Hudson said. Fire him and fire the person who brought this up.”

Sources close to Kroenke say that the outburst came from Kroenke being briefed on the talent diatribe of head coach Anthony Hudson.

“WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU TO MENTION THIS TO ME?” screamed Kroenke at the assistant. “I never want to hear about my financial acquisitions again unless they’ve made me pure gold bullion!”

Sources within the Rapids organization indicate that they will continue to be one of the cheapest organizations in the league as they find ways to continue to poison the dwindling well of local soccer support that exists in Denver and the surrounding area.

“With the resources that Mr. Kroenke bestows upon us, we are lucky we have vendors paid on time at the stadium,” stated one anonymous Rapids employee. “at this point, well. …ugh… look, just stick with the Broncos.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Kroenke fires a Wal-Mart greeter named Anthony, just for fun.