In A Desperate Bid For Relevance, We Made A Non-Nerd Write A Thanos/Relegation Story

INTERNET - So, um, Thanos is… from what I can tell…. a bad guy who is probably angry with something that has to do with a feeling of inadequacy or a dead sibling or bad parents. With a name like Thanos it appears that he is possibly Greek with a last name like Antippedes, or Sotiropoulos or Constantinides. At least that is what it seems like since my college roommate was a Greek kid named Theophilus (Theo) Tavoularis .

All you had to do was follow the damn train, Thanos.

All you had to do was follow the damn train, Thanos.

Being against the current order of the world, it stands to reason that Thanos Constantinides is a sympathetic figure to most who would attempt to bring Promotion and mostly Relegation into the world in a very real way. It stands to reason that soccer fans across the United States (but not Canada) would and should accept Thanos Constantinides as their natural overlord and leader.

If Mr. Constantinides is able to bring about Promotion and Relegation in the United States we must look towards him for a future plan for US Soccer, even if that plan is probably some bad thing that he planned from his fortress of solitude or wherever he lives that has some kind of snazzy alternative universe name like Athensdinium or Parthenonionium or Glendale.

Anyway, there’s apparently like 4500 hours of movies I need to go through in order to figure out this whole thing and I would do that, but I’m probably going to spend the rest of the weekend watching soccer and getting outside, nerds.

Anyway, Thanos Constantinides for US Soccer President.

Guys, I really don’t think this is funny at all. Is it because I’m new here?

EDITORS NOTE: YES.