American Casual Excited For Brexit Vote As He Plans Future Fred Perry Purchasing Spree

NEW YORK - Local soccer casual Rahim Asfour stated that he is excited for the upcoming vote on Brexit today and over the next 17 days as he plans a future Fred Perry purchasing spree once England’s economy goes to shit and the prices collapse.


“I’m going to absolutely CLEAN UP,” stated Asfour to our reporter. “I’m already tracking airline prices and I’m building a spreadsheet for how I’m going to buy all the best clobber in London when everything goes to shit.”

Asfour said that he doesn’t specifically support any one English club, but that he looks forward to attending games at a cut rate price if the exchange rate finally goes in his favor.

“There was a time when you couldn’t even get into a game for less than 2 to 1 exchange prices,” stated Asfour. “But when Brexit hits, I’m going to go over and get into The Emirates, Old Trafford and Anfield on a Groupon price level. I’m going to have individual gear for each game. It’s going to be legit. At these rates, I’ll probably be able to rent a flat somewhere and just live off of a few dollars a week. It’s going to be legit, I can’t wait.”

Asfour stated that he’s planning on bringing over duffel bags to transport home all the best casual gear that he can get from Fred Perry, Stone Island and Ellesse.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this Asfour realizes that he can’t afford to make a trip to England anymore due to declining wages and plummeting job prospects in his own country.