Dave Sarachan Claims Squatters Rights On USMNT Position

East Hartford, CT - Speaking to a collected group of reporters before the United States game against Peru, current interim head coach Dave Sarachan invoked squatters rights and stated that he would not be leaving any time soon.


“This is adverse possession,” stated Sarachan to the press. “The doctrine of adverse possession discourages disuse of property. According to the doctrine, if property was abandoned, the squatter could gain control over the coaching position.”

Legal experts for the United States Soccer Federation claim that Sarachan may have a legal position here as the head coaching job was vacated by Bruce Arena with little notice.

“He’s been squatting in this position for 10 games and over a year,” stated USSF lawyer Sandi Hannover. “We didn’t realize that until today and now we don’t really have legal recourse to force him out.”

Insiders with the USSF indicate that this isn’t the worst thing that could happen because it does relieve the pressure of the ongoing and unending coaching search.

“It kinda fixes a problem that the USSF didn’t really want to resolve by any other methodology,” stated our anonymous source. “I think they will just roll with this until the team starts losing again and then fire him. It’s a wash, rinse, repeat moment for the federation and takes the pressure off the executives.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a bearded Sarachan moves into the USSF headquarters in Chicago with his acoustic guitar, his tabla and his Jack Johnson tabs.