Major League Soccer Announces Possible Expansion Into Jeff's Living Room If Stadium Bond Passes

Jarbidge, NV - Major League Soccer (MLS), today, announced possible expansion into Jeff Larson's living room if the stadium bond for the tiny town of Jarbidge passes.

The downtown of Jarbidge is begging for the economic revival a soccer specific stadium can bring.

The downtown of Jarbidge is begging for the economic revival a soccer specific stadium can bring.

"I'm going to build the stadium here," stated Larson as his gesticulated with a large sweeping motion at his coffee table and couch. "This is going to be a community project so I feel like the community should pay for it. The economic benefit for Jarbrige will be huge."

Reportedly, the robust population of 111 people grew by a staggering 126.5% since 2000 with the median age of 36.7 fitting a target demographic that MLS covets for their ability to have and spend disposable income.

"We don't know what Jeff is thinking, but we strenuously want to advocate for a better cleanup of the roads from the winter and more money for our school. Maybe even a dry goods option, for the area," stated Jefferson Ramapo, mayor of Jarbidge. "The community isn't certain that this whole MLS thing is a good idea and we think there are far better ways to spend $70 million dollars."

Despite the reservations of the Mayor and the city council, Larson continues ahead stating to our reporters that, "there is nothing like a 21,000 seat stadium to drive interest locally in soccer. Don Garber stated that Jarbidge is #MLSReady that he was very interested in doing business with my ownership group of one once I told him that I might have the votes."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Larson lays out the location of Jarbidge United's training facility with caution tape he picked up from the open windows of a Forest Service vehicle.