Disappointed Columbus Crew Ownership Bemoans Playoff Win

Columbus, OH - The owner of the Columbus Crew, Anthony Precourt, stated that he was disappointed in the 4-1 victory over NYCFC and disappointed in the referees who clearly were biased against NYCFC.


"This game was rigged against NYCFC and I intend on voicing my protest against the Columbus Crew win," stated the owner of the Crew. "NYCFC were the better team and that red card was just a love tap. I don't even see how you can toss someone out for an elbow. What is an elbow? It's like complaining about an arm, or a leg."

Precourt was reportedly not worried about angry fans chanting against his ownership as he stated, "Fuck those guys, their team and their town," and called down to the field to tell Gregg Berhalter to pull half the team away from their defensive responsibilities for a talk about wonderful condominiums available around Lake Travis.

"This game was a farce. Columbus deserved nothing. I'm having my team collect the tapes and show them back at the commissioners office to examine how Columbus was always offside on their goals, and that at least 5 players should have red cards on their team. Don will understand.... he always does."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as an irate Precourt demands that the Crew lose game 2 in New York.