FIFA Ends Racism

The international money laundering cartel known as FIFA, announced on Sunday that it dismantled its anti-racism taskforce after reportedly finding no sign of racism anywhere in the world of football after just 3 years of running.



"We showed those racists what's what, and now there isn't any racism left anymore," stated FIFA talking head Fatma Samba Diouf Samoura. "We looked everywhere for racism. We looked at a grocery store. We looked at a football ground. We even looked under the bed, behind that storage utility item you used to store your shoes until you realized you could just cram all the stuff that you brought with you from your other apartment moves. We couldn't find racism anywhere. So, in the end, we just disbanded the taskforce."

The Nutmeg News spoke to Dave Smith of Lincoln, Nebraska about this monumental, world shaking event and he had the following to say. 

"I knew it! I KNEW IT! I knew there was no more racism left in the world. I knew that all those people complaining about racism are just whiners. All you commie, pinko, leftists people can take note. The most commie sport of all says that there is no racism. So all you pricks out there can stand for the anthem, now. Racism is dead. And while we are at it.... let me tell you my thoughts about Persians and especially Syrian Arabs," (EDITORS NOTE: The Nutmeg News ended the interview here as FIFA mandated.)

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Russian World Cup kicks off.