Manchester City Victory Gives Bragging Rights To Lonely Man In Tucson

Tucson, AZ - Manchester City's victory and advancement in the UEFA Champions League gave bragging rights to a lonely fan in Tucson as David Smith celebrated City's win by fist pumping in his cubicle before returning to his un-ending life of drudgery.

"My club may be 4000 miles away, but we are so dominant."

"My club may be 4000 miles away, but we are so dominant."

"I've got no-one to rub this monumental victory into but I'm planning on talking trash on Facebook when I get home as my work doesn't allow social media through their webfilter," stated a quiet Mr Smith as he didn't want to speak too loud to avoid breaking the social decorum of utter tomb like silence that has enveloped 9 hours of his life every day except for Saturday and Sunday.

"This is my LIFE. I mean, I've never been to Manchester, nor have I ever left Arizona and City probably couldn't give two fucks about me, but honestly this is.... UM, YES CHARLENE... I'LL GET THOSE REPORTS TO YOU MOMENTARILY... look I gotta go," stated Mr Smith to our reporters.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Smith's pride swells with unmitigated expansion as he unlocks his Toyota Tercel for his 45 minute commute home in traffic.