Falling Interest Rates In Cosmos Indicate Peak Soccer Bubble

NEW YORK - Falling interest rates in Cosmos and a decline in overall attendance has many league analysts pointing at a Peak Soccer bubble in the New York area, on Monday.

Peak Soccer is leading to declines as imports continue to define the market.

Peak Soccer is leading to declines as imports continue to define the market.

"What we are seeing here is something emblematic of a larger soccer crisis as it pertains to sustained interest and market fluctuations," stated Soccer and Financial Analyst for the Deloitte Foundation, Richard Helmsley.  "Sustained overvaluation combined with market saturation has allowed soccer to build and build, but much like the housing market crisis of the earlier decade, what we are seeing is a bubble forming leading to a collapse in Soccer Interest Rates.

The Nutmeg News spoke to sociologist and Cat Fancy subscriber Dominique Hayes about the situation with the Cosmos and she pointed out a number of factors.

"What we are seeing here is a shifting in the modality of support from attendance to relentlessly complaining about soccer online. The new medium for soccer support involves very little team support and just unending verbal diatribes on Twitter, Facebook and any blog that will hold the comments. As well, there are other variables like whether flat track roller derby and slam poetry readings are taking up the nighttime commitments of the former attendees."

Fans, however, say that the shifting interest in the game has more to do with the times than the passion as Cosmos fan Dakota Case stated, "It used to be all Cosmos, but once Trump was elected it's all punk bands now. You can't swing a free kick in without hitting a group of former Cosmos fans talking about resurrecting Reagan Youth and the musical impact of Refused."

As well, some fans pointed towards the decline of the rates of "forefront fans" as the art community continues to move to the Mid-West.

"There's no more hipsters left in Staten Island and Brooklyn who haven't already given up on Legia Warsaw," stated Cosmos fan Barry Levin. "We just missed the opportunity and now the organization needs to take stock and go towards recreating the bond that exists between the players and fans. As well, shoring up the viability of a league seemingly built on quicksand would probably help."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the US Soccer Fed determines whether the Cosmos are too big to fail and deserve a bail out.