Colorado Rapids Already Planning A Way To Trade Away Their Most Valuable Asset In 2016

Denver, CO - The Colorado Rapids front office has already admitted that they are working on a methodology to trade away their most valuable asset in 2016.

"I don't own a soccer team in Colorado, are you high?"

"I don't own a soccer team in Colorado, are you high?"

President Tim Hinchey stated on Monday "We are already looking at mechanisms to make our team worse during the off-season and continue the inept management and seemingly never ending entropy that we have had over the past few seasons."

Reportedly the Rapids are already trying to identify their most valuable asset and trade or remove this asset from the organization.

"We don't yet know if this will be the player rights to Carlos Vela, or if it will be Clint Irwin, or perhaps it we will lease out the stadium to a monster truck rally on every Thursday and Tuesday before games. One way or another we are dedicated to making sure that 2016 will be just as bad as 2015. They say that the definition of success is continuity at all levels and we are aiming as low as possible for that," stated Hinchey in an address to the fans on Monday.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Rapids trade any available assets left in the club for a bag of magic beans and the rights to an overpriced English striker currently playing in the third division of Scotland.