"No, Tony. Look Around You! Nobody Here Wants To Play Premier League Fantasy Soccer"

Santa Fe, NM - Speaking to a collected group of friends there for Tony Delong’s well being, good friend Randall Hughes stated categorically, “No, Tony. Look around you! Nobody here wants to play Premier League fantasy soccer.”


Friends decided to have an intervention for Mr. Delong after a sixth consecutive year of the soccer fan peppering everyone’s social media feed, text messages and emails with suggestions, requests and pleading demands to really get involved in Premier League Fantasy Soccer.

“Goddammit, NO,” stated good friend Heather Brom. “Tony, seriously… It’s been six years of asking and no one… NO ONE IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP WANTS TO PLAY PREMIER LEAGUE FANTASY SOCCER.”

According to friends at the meeting, Delong stared at the ground as he nervously tapped a magazine detailing all the best key pickups for his fantasy team, “You’ll Giroud The Day You Played Me.”

"We love you, we all love you. This needs to stop,” stated ex-girlfriend Karen Hamilton. “When we broke up we both said that we wanted to stay friends, but the only thing you’ve done recently is spam my timeline on Facebook asking me if I want to sign up for your Fantasy Soccer League. I DO NOT, TONY.”

Friends state that they think their message finally got through to Delong, but the passionate advocate of the least interesting part of soccer stated that he was really able to see the connections coming together for a new league as he posted later, “Who wants to play Premier League Soccer in my new league called Tom Delong’s Intervention.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as friends just give up.