Hoover, AL - Reclusive billionaire James Edward Stanfield announced that he was purchasing an NPSL team in an to utilize the net operating losses of Hoover Atletico United SC against his taxes in the future.
“I need a guaranteed financial loss generator,” stated Stanfield to The Nutmeg News. “And nothing is more guaranteed to lose money than lower league American soccer.”
Stanfield reportedly engineered the purchase of Hoover Atletico United SC after sending over a pizza to the shared apartment of former owner Roger McGraw.
According to friends on site at the shared residence, McGraw did a jig and screamed, “Someone wants to buy this? SOLD. SOLD. SOLD. SOLD.”
Publicly, McGraw stated that he would miss the shared development and participation with the community that he treasured and fostered despite the insane debt that he ran up on a total of 3 credit cards and a personal business loan over the past 4 years.
“Thank you for everything, Hoover,” penned McGraw on his way to his new job as a programmer for Amazon.
For his part, Stanfield stated that he planned on heavily investing into the structure of the team as he stated that they would have a new and very costly rebrand of their uniform and badge.
“This process may take YEARS to develop, but I’m very confident that eventually I’ll be able to claim all these losses, soon,” stated Stanfield.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Stanfield forgets about this purchase until his accountant asks his assistant about it next year.