Singing Supporter Needs To Pick An Octave And Stick With It

NEW YORK - Fans in section 236 praise TIm Wellingsly, a New York City FC supporter, for his ability to start songs but they claim that he needs to pick an octave and stick with it after attempting three different songs in three different keys during the recent game at home.


"GOD DAMMIT TIM," stated supporter John Kim as he attempted to span the range that Mr Wellingsly was utilizing to belt out songs with reckless abandon. "I'm not spending the entire game pitch shifting."

According to people in the area who actually know something about music, Mr. Wellingsly is known for starting songs in an almost unapproachable Tenor C5 then modulating down during the song to a Baritone A4 before modulating again down to a Bass C2 and then starting another song in almost a Countertenor High E5 before realizing he can't sustain the pitch as he drifts into falsetto and stops to catch his breath.

"What KEY IS THIS IN, TIM....?! WHAT KEY IS THIS IN?! DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN YOU CANT START A SONG THIS HIGH.... I've sung Karaoke with people who have better instincts," ranted David Smith from Queens.

"I can't keep up with this shit," stated Rosalyn Sanchez from Bed Stuy. "He always picks a key that I can't sing so I've just started ignoring him and singing in the key that works for me. At this point, it's the only way forward for anyone that stands around him."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Wellingsly starts another song in a pitch so high that it results in everyone singling in their low end range and the song not taking off because no one can understand what anyone is singing.