Boston, MA - Local soccer supporter Paul Cappel recently spent the weekend enjoying soccer despite the fact that, according to leading internet trolls, he should feel miserable all the time about the game.
Mr. Cappel reportedly detailed, on Twitter, an enjoyable weekend of watching the Revolution defeat Sporting Kansas City, LAFC's opening game in their new stadium, Manchester City defeating West Ham, Chelsea defeating Swansea, and 20 minutes of the Dortmund v Werder game before he went and played pick up soccer in a local park.
"It was a great weekend watching some fun games #MLS #Soccer," Tweeted Mr. Cappel to dozens of online trolls who patiently waited to tell him how utterly shit his viewing experience was this weekend.
"He should understand that he is watching inferior soccer in a cartel environment and that he is enabling all of these things," stated righteous blowhard soccer fan and gatekeeper Eli Taylor. "He must grow to understand that he is a shit fan watching shit players and that he should only watch the best of the best play each other."
Reportedly, Cappel was inundated with responses to his morning tweets from anonymous soccer fans who vigorously told him how incorrect he was for enjoying the games this weekend as they criticized his love of his local side, watching additional MLS games and watching only big money clubs overseas.
"Everything I did was wrong," stated Cappel to The Nutmeg News. "I thought I was supposed to support my local club, but that was wrong. I thought I should find a team in England to watch, but that was wrong. I don't even know how to watch the game anymore, apparently."
Friends state that Cappel was in a joyous mood on Monday after a great weekend until he was told repeatedly, online, that he was a sheep watching shit players playing in an unauthentic league and simultaneously a glory-hunting ignoramus tearing apart the fabric of the homegrown support overseas.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Cappel spends the rest of his Monday online as he reads one reply after another and one troll account after another until he isn't certain that he really likes the game or any of the people involved with soccer on a regional or national level.