Eric Wynalda Calls On FIFA To Hack Kathy Carter's Emails

Miami, FL. — Eric Wynalda said on Wednesday that he hoped FIFA intelligence services had successfully hacked Kathy Carter's email, and encouraged them to publish whatever they may have stolen, essentially urging a foreign adversary to conduct cyberespionage against a former president of Soccer United Marketing.

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“FIFA, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails about promotion and relegation that are missing,” Mr. Wynalda said during a news conference here in an apparent reference to Mrs. Carter's emails. “I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by the three unpaid interns still covering the sport in the United States.”

Mr. Wynalda's call was another bizarre moment in the mystery of whether Gianni Infantino's organization has been seeking to influence the United States Soccer Federation's Presidential race.

His comments came amid questions about the hacking of the Soccer United Marketing's computer servers, which American soccer agencies have told the Federation they have “high confidence” was the work of the FIFA organization.

At the same news conference, Mr. Wynalda also appeared to leave the door open to accepting FIFA’s acceptance of a Qatar World Cup bid eight years ago — which the United States and its European allies consider a really dumb fucking idea. That World Cup, and the continued efforts of FIFA-aided insurgents to undermine the United States justice department, are the reason that the United States Soccer Federation, Trinidad/Tobago, and their allies still have economic sanctions in force against FIFA.

When asked whether he would recognize Qatar “as World Cup territory” and lift the sanctions, Mr. Wynalda said: “We’ll be looking at that. Yeah, we’ll be looking.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Kyle Martino asks for a candidate debate to talk about instituting single payer healthcare for soccer players.