Rec League Roundup: Perfectly Fine All-In-One Shinguards Reportedly, "Not Cool"

Toledo, OH - Rec league player Thomas Willis admitted that his perfectly fine all-in-one shinguards were, reportedly, not cool and needed to be replaced.


"I bought them at Wal-Mart two years ago when I joined the league, but they just aren't cool," stated Mr Millis to The Nutmeg News. "I realized this as I noticed that the guys who are really good on our team basically used a thin rolled up towel as a shinguard and they are great."

Friends say that Willis spent the last year pulling on the sock like all-in-one ankle and shin guard contraptions in private as he would furtively look over to see whether anyone noticed that he had MacGregor shinguards.

"These things kept me from looking cool, but they also kept me from doing cool things like that time that Dave flipped out on the ref, pulled out his shinguard and slammed it on the ground before getting sent off. Sure we lost the game 5-1 after that, but it was cool as shit," stated Mr. Willis.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Willis gets explained, for the fifth time, that no one is looking at his shinguards.