FIFA Nominate Mia Hamm, Holly McPeak, and Linda Gutierrez For Women's Player Of The Year

The international money laundering cartel known as FIFA, today, announced the final three players nominated for the FIFA Women's Player of the year.

As tabulated by our cadre of people who don't watch the womens game.

As tabulated by our cadre of people who don't watch the womens game.

The nominees are 45 year old retired midfielder Mia Hamm, 48 year old retired volleyball player Holly McPeak, and 23 year old Delta baggage handler/sometime rec league player Linda Gutierrez.

"We believe that we have a cross section of players that truly represent the women's game," stated FIFA spokesman Bepp Platters. "We love our women. We love them a lot. In fact, we love them so much that we want to protect them from the injuries in games by forcing them to wear tighter clothing. It's the FIFA way."

Women's soccer experts state that the list of nominated players in no way represents the actual current landscape of Women's soccer in the world. They also state that this is clearly just a disconnected FIFA paying lip-service to a game they don't really care about via a methodology that is very flawed.

However FIFA disagress as Mr Platters stated, "People criticizing our selection are clearly on their period."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the year is 2145 and Carli Lloyd is again nominated for player of the year despite having blocked everyone on every social media platform ever made.