Optimistic New York Red Bull Fan Begins Process Of Coping With Loss

NEW YORK - Optimistic New York Red Bull fan James Falcone, of Queens, admitted that he is enthusiastically and positively beginning the process of coping with his teams loss in the US Open Cup semi-final tonight against FC Cincinnati.

(Photo: Sam Greene/Enquirer)

(Photo: Sam Greene/Enquirer)

"I feel like we have a great chance of making it to the end of the game in a great position only to watch it all slip away as I crumble into a fetal position on the ground and start debating my choices in life," stated Falcone to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday. "I'm already preparing myself for the inevitable slide into eating an entire carton of Ice Cream alongside a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle and anger posting to Twitter."

Falcone stated, to friends, that he is confident in the skills of Bradley Wright-Philips and the leadership of Jesse Marsch just enough to know that the team will play decently until the inevitable sucker punch that reduces Falcone to an angry husk, power surfing cable channels for something with Val Kilmer in order to improve his mood.

"It's going to be great, we are going to do great, I'm looking forward to the game," stated Falcone on Facebook attached to a photo of him looking like he isn't looking forward to the game at all. "Finals here we come!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a perplexed Falcone admits he is unequipped to process a Red Bull win.