We Will Never Be A True Soccer Nation Til Our Half-Man Half-Dog Mutants Play In Europe

The Nutmeg News prints opinion pieces from local contributors, at select times. Today's opinion piece comes from Jeff McKenzie of Red Deer, AB. The viewpoints and opinions of Mr. McKenzie do not necessarily reflect the viewpoints and opinions of The Nutmeg News.

To Whom It May Concern:

Canada will never be a true soccer nation until our half-man half-dog mutants play in Europe instead of settling for local provincial soccer clubs like Ottawa and Montreal.

Wash the taste of ambition off your tongue, lad!

Wash the taste of ambition off your tongue, lad!

We are a nation of millions and yet time and time again the Canadian mentality is to have our sentient man/dog hybrids playing locally. This madness must stop. How can the half-man half-dog hybrid begin to grow if he can't play at a proper training facility in England while romping around the fire hydrants and the organic scents of the English countryside.

This nation could be the greatest in the Americas if we finally committed the full resources of our training facilities and youth man/dog soccer programs to ensure that our man/dog mutant hybrids are pushed to European soccer facilities. 

Instead we are left with the waste from Ottawa which deems playing for your local club as good enough. WELL I'M SORRY.... BUT IT ISN'T. 

A new Canada and a bold Canada means pushing our dogman midfielders, strikers and defenders into unfamiliar dog parks and pitches of the world.

Up the Mighty Maple Leaf and let's see a new generation of genetically modified dogmen that can take on the best players in the world in soccer.

Yours in correspondence and my apologies about the length of the letter,

Jeff McKenzie

Red Deer, Alberta