CHICAGO - According to reports from the National Women's Soccer League (NWSL), Jeff Plush was finally replaced as NWSL Commissioner, after stepping down, by an inanimate pot of geraniums which immediately gave a terse, "no comment," on the North Carolina HB2 law, any further league expansion, and the transfers of Carli Lloyd, Crystal Dunn and Alex Morgan.
The pot of geraniums did indicate that it took on the role as commissioner until a suitable long term replacement could be found for Plush as it truly loves the game of soccer and really needs to have fertilizer every two weeks to encourage growth.
"We feel that the pot of geraniums can lead us to a bright future," stated the Deputy Commissioner of the NWSL, a half buttered slice of toast. "With the season about to begin, it was incumbent upon us to ensure that we had a commissioner in place and a plan for growth. There is no better representative of the US Soccer commitment to the NWSL than this pot of geraniums and we feel like it will be a great representative going forward."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Geraniums makes another "no comment" statement on the Houston Dash and the new Texas bathroom bill.