F.C.C. Plans Net Neutrality Repeal In Confusing Move For Soccer Team

Cincinnati, OH - In a confusing move for a soccer team, Football Club Cincinnati (F.C.C.) took aim at a signature Obama-era regulation Tuesday, unveiling a plan that would give Internet providers broad powers to determine what websites and online services their customers see and use.

F-C-C! F-C-C! F-C-.... wait... what are they doing now?

F-C-C!

F-C-C!

F-C-.... wait... what are they doing now?

Under the soccer teams proposal, companies like Comcast and Verizon would have the ability to restrict traffic to specific websites, block websites they do not like and charge higher fees for specific services like streaming.

Football Club Cincinnati's effort would roll back net neutrality regulation which was passed by F.C.C. in 2015 in an effort to secure a spot in Major League Soccer.

"We were told that the only way to prepare for a spot in Major League Soccer was to start acting as evil as possible as soon as possible," stated owner Carl Lindner III. "In this effort are spearheading an effort at terminating net neutrality laws, stopping all online streaming of games other than our own sources and ensuring that anyone wanting to view an F.C.C. game will pay an additional fee per game of $25 per hour." 

Lindner stated that this was in line with a memo sent out by Don Garber to, "Squeeze those fans for every dollar they are worth."

The Nutmeg News will have more as fans rebel against the F.C.C. for their overreaching attempt at ruining any semblance of a free and open internet.