Austin Soccer Fans Wonder If The Body Is Cold Enough To Celebrate

Austin, TX - Soccer fans in the capital of Texas woke up Wednesday morning wondering if the body of Columbus Crew was cold enough, yet, to celebrate the potential team they are receiving from the bold decision of Anthony Precourt to rip the team out of Columbus.


"I'm just a soccer fan and I don't want any blame at all for the fact that I'm, personally, thrilled to be receiving the cut up pieces of the heart of Columbus," stated Jim Usinger of Round Rock. "Look, we've been through this before. I don't hold a grudge against Orlando for stealing the Aztek's despite never going to a single Aztek's game in the first place. It's just business. So if the Columbus fans want to mourn for the still decomposing body of their team, I'm going to celebrate as we get Precourt Carpetbagging INC."

Our reporters spoke to Austin soccer fan Bobby Thompson who stated, "Originally I was going to get tickets to this USL team, but now I'm all set for MLS. I'm going to buy season tickets first thing. I don't care about Columbus. I'm going to tap dance on their grave when the season is over."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it happens like a slow motion train crash with nothing to stop it.