Dear Rec League Roundup,
Ever since my manager watched Joachim Löw scratch and sniff his gentleman's area during Euro 2016, he has repeatedly started doing so on the sidelines.
We will be rushing up the field on a counter attack and I'll look over as he frenetically scratches at his peaches and then inhales with the vigor of a Victorian man of stature consuming laudanum for the first time.
We will be tracking back on defense and he will be juggling his berry salad like Marcel Marceau. At some point we all need to band together to stop him from making such a public spectacle.
There's one problem.
We started winning since he has started doing this. Two games in a row.
What do we do?
Harry Hardwood In Des Moines.
DEAR HARRY HARDWOOD IN DES MOINES,
When winning, there is only one suggestion from Rec League Roundup.
That is, double down on the matter. Everyone on your team should adjust their tackle including the women. You will, with deep intent and grave serious nature, reach down for your undercarriage, your man satchel and give it a scratch and sniff test until your team starts to lose.
At the time when you start losing (and not before), you should then confront your manager and all parties should stop.
Until that time, everyone...... time to get sniffing..... because down there? It smells like victory.
Rec League Roundup