ESPN Hires Reddit User To Dissect Articles For New Hot Take Show

Bristol, CT - ESPN, the worldwide leader in sports entertainment, has announced that they hired reddit user PM_ME_SHARPIES_IN_POOPER to co-anchor a new hot take soccer show after reading his scathing point by point take-downs of articles in the r/mls subreddit.

"After Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless, we knew that we needed another moronic talking head!"

"After Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless, we knew that we needed another moronic talking head!"

"This kind of bold, unfettered, relentless hot take and anger is what we are looking to have on ESPN for our soccer community," stated Vice President of Content Strategy and Acquisitions John Lasker. "When we think of a hot take show with intelligent commentary that rips apart fan and journalist articles with righteous indignation and zero regard for fact or nuance we always think, first, of Reddit."

According to Mr. Lasker, the thing that ESPN valued the most about PM_ME_SHARPIES_IN_POOPER was his ability to resoundingly rant about both the columns posted to the website and his fellow users of the subreddit, as none were spared his righteous indignation.

"We really appreciated his ability to stand his ground, even when wrong," stated Lasker to The Nutmeg News. "We also appreciate his ability to take what was written, separate the items he disagreed with individually in bullet point to remove any kind of context and then bash each one individually in a cobbled together paragraph so long that you forgot what the issue was in the first place."

ESPN have stated that this kind of rakish prose is believed to be the new wave of the future for their on-air programming and that everyone can finally acknowledge that an anonymous stranger pounding keyboards somewhere is the future of sports opinion.

The Nutmeg News reached out to PM_ME_SHARPIES_IN_POOPER however the user would not speak with our reporter unless we apologized for 86 different bullet point items and shut down this news organization in shame while acknowledging that he was right and everyone else in the world is wrong.