Columbus Crew Announce White Pride Night For 2017

Columbus, OH - In an effort to reach out to the nearly three million voters who cast votes for Donald Trump in Ohio, the Columbus Crew announced a White Pride night for 2017.

"What kind of last name is Higuain?"

"What kind of last name is Higuain?"

"We realized that we wouldn't be servicing our entire community and filling our stadium unless we reached out to the nearly three million people that voted for Donald Trump in our state," stated Anthony Precourt. "Clearly there's a lot of soccer fans out there in Ohio that believe in White Pride, and we can work with them. We plan on working with our local communities in Lorain and Medina County to have their Klu Klux Klan representatives interface with the Nordecke to get a primer on Columbus Crew soccer." 

Reportedly, current fans of the Crew are apoplectic about this development as many fans we interviewed were outraged but also unwilling to go on the record in fear of reprisals. However, Crew representatives were resolute.

"We must reach across the aisle and be inclusive of all the people in Ohio if we are the peoples club here. It's time to heal our country and have our Racists and Non-Racists fans working together to cheer on soccer. We don't really care what you believe in as long as you buy tickets. It's important to have any Ohio racists be a part of the Crew family."

The Crew Front Office also announced that they would work in collaboration with Stormfront Ohio and the White Knights Of Dayton to have a "Diversity Is White Genocide" T.I.F.O display.

"We must tolerate all viewpoints. Everyone is accepted in the Crew stadium, because they are all brothers in arms here in Ohio."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it happens.