NASL Commissioner Sends Thank You Note To The Portland Timbers For The Massive Distraction

NEW YORK - The commissioner of the North American Soccer League (NASL), Bill Peterson, sent a message of thanks to the Portland Timbers for overshadowing the leagues swift descent into the bowels of irrelevance after plunging to a possible 9 team league for the 2017 season.

"Dear Merritt, I hope this letter finds you well."

"Dear Merritt,

I hope this letter finds you well."

"As much as it is an awful thing for those players, no one is talking about all the teams leaving our league and the issues involved with running a league that is drifting slowly towards insolvency," stated Peterson to The Nutmeg News.

Reportedly, Peterson is extremely excited that there isn't a huge push right now to discuss the losses of Minnesota United, Tampa Bay Rowdies, Ottawa Fury, the rumored loss of Rayo OKC, and the financial struggles of the Fort Lauderdale Strikers.

"I don't care if it is Godzilla attacking NYC or two jackasses out drinking, At least my phone hasn't been ringing with reporters asking about the solvency of a league with 7 teams, I mean 9.... yes.... NINE teams. That's right, NINE IS ENOUGH. SHUT UP."

The Nutmeg News will have more on the NASL as they attempt to figure out who is going to be watching the league in 2017.