Che Wearing Jozy Altidore Talks About Seizing The Means Of Production

WASHINGTON - A "Che Guevara" t-shirt wearing Jozy Altidore called an impromptu press-conference in Washington DC before the United States takes on New Zealand to talk about seizing the means of production and the rise of the proletariat.

"Guys, what we are talking about here is the embattled working class."

"Guys, what we are talking about here is the embattled working class."

"Look, I'm not calling for a complete overhaul of our government, I'm calling for a systemic revolution lead by the working class to seize the means of production and distribute the economic resources for the greater good," stated Altidore to the assembled reporters.

Reportedly, Altidore's fervent commitment to the ideals of Communism came after the United States Men's National Team trip to Cuba where he was exposed to socialist and communist theories while on a guided tour of Havana. 

"I listened to a LOT of Rage Against The Machine on the way down and I realized that we really are just marching endlessly to the drum beat of capitalism which defines our principles on a daily basis. All of us... ALL of us are bulls of Capitalism on parade. We must rage against THAT machine in our own way and I feel that I can do so by taking the principles of Karl Marx, Che Guevara and Fidel Castro to a wider audience in The United States."

Reportedly, Altidore has signed up to teach a learning annex course on socialist theories and manifesto creation at the Hudson County Community College during the Toronto FC offseason as he states, "we must teach the working class and middle class to rise against the bourgeois elite. We can tear down the walls of filthy capitalism and create a new utopia. Viva Cuba!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as teammates attempt to move Altidore on to nu-metal and his moshing phase by implementing more Limp Bizkit into his Spotify playlist.