Parents across the continent are reporting concern at a new game enthralling young and old alike. The new game is called "Promotion and Relegation" and it has created such a scare that people are now warning those in control of their twitter accounts to not seek the thrill.
"We went down to a basement deep in the earth," said 35 year old nursing student and LA Galaxy fan Shonda Evans. "We faced a mirror and typed PROMOTION AND RELEGATION into our twitter accounts and hit send. A red glow emanated from the screen as the battery on our cellphone overheated with a barrage of insane replies, arguing and bickering. The heat and smoke were immense. Immediately we were faced with a veritable brigade of walking undead twitter accounts sent to feast upon our twitter feed. There was a low rumbling and my mentions were filled with TED. I felt an immense twinge of panic. The audible words 'TED TED TED TED TED TED' became apparent and the red glow became more intense. TED TED TED continued and it came from deep down as though it wasn't even coming from my cell phone. The whole thing was terrifying. Out of the 10 friends of mine that tried this, 8 of them ended up with locked down twitter accounts. I now regret this game and I want to warn everyone to not attempt such things, it will only lead to sadness. Praise Ted."
PROMOTION AND RELEGATION has long been a cult hit game on twitter. "Just a taste" is what the pushers on your child's street corner dispensing troll starter kits will say. However, now the game is breaking into the mainstream and families are getting involved.
"I introduced my father to soccer and now he just stars at a screen typing the words over and over again into his account. He doesn't even know what they mean, but he knows that sending them out gets him responses and he is very lonely since his dog passed away in June. Do not let you friends play this game!" said Junior Flores of Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Theo Cassabian of Myrtle Beach had a different story to share with The Nutmeg News as we met at Rioz Brazilian Steakhouse on 2920 Hollywood Drive to discuss this game.
"I started off a mild mannered accountant, but now I am an accountant that trolls from morning to noon on issues regarding financial independence and league alignment in soccer. I don't even know how to stop anymore. I just hear the call and troll. There is no enjoyment anymore, no land that will accept me. My wife just gave up on the game, my children are into interpretive dance. DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, TED BE THY NAME. ALL THESE LEAGUES WILL PAY!" he said before sinking into a delicious slice of carefully prepared meat.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it continues to happen.