Executive Admits, "I Use NFL Analogies Because I Don't Really Understand Soccer"

A prominent US Soccer executive has admitted to The Nutmeg News that he frequently uses other sports as the basis for his analogies when explaining elements of soccer because he doesn't actually understand the game.

"Look, I'm part of an ownership team and a management team in this league but I didn't really intend to be in soccer. My knowledge of the game is very low so I tend to frame things using analogies from other sports, most specifically the NFL. The other day I couldn't figure out why we aren't able to score so I just told the boys to 'punch it in there like Emmitt Smith would'. Man that confused the everloving hell out of our South American imports. The other day some of our fans were wrong by criticizing our coaching staff, but I just had to tell them, 'Gregg Popovich wouldn't conduct business this way' because I didn't know a coaching alternative in the soccer world to use as an example. I don't know, is there even a Gregg Popovich type coach or even a Jim Mora type in the soccer world?"

When asked if he would take the time to understand the game for the team he owns, this anonymous person said, "Well, I'm going through some courses with a few ex-players, our technical director and I'm reading some things on line. But y'know I'm just more comfortable talking about hard nosed players like Bear Bryant had rather than players that Steve Busby had, plus I don't want to get on a rant here but who is really able to absorb all the years of history in the game of soccer overnight. I still prefer watching baseball to this game....



Um, could you edit what I said earlier? I meant Matt... Matt Busby. There's just so much to learn."

The Nutmeg News asked about the style that this executive teams are playing and he had the following to say, "Well we blend the up-tempo Patriots style, with Peyton Mannnings no-huddle sensibilities and the defense of the late 90's Tampa Bay Buccaneers with the frenetic ruggedness of Iverson's 76ers teams. We really think it will make an impact!"