NEW YORK - Writers in the New York area were all informed that due to their courageous and heroic performances in attending and writing about all three NY soccer teams over four days they would receive the highest civilian award from New York City, The Bronze Medallion.
The Bronze Medallion is a prestigious award presented by the mayor of New York City and former recipients of the Bronze Medallion include Muhammed Ali, Martin Luther King Jr, Douglas MacArthur, Willie Mays, and Wesley Autrey, who saved the life of a fellow commuter on a New York City subway.
Mayor Bill de Blasio released a statement saying, "We wish to recognize those heroic individuals who were either volunteer or paid individuals who attended four soccer games in four days. They should be lauded for their professionalism and heroic conduct."
While the job of being paid to attend a game for 90 minutes and write about it seems like the things dreams are made of, most sports writers will tell you something different.
"It was nothing but soccer, moderately decent food in the press box and trying to organize receipts and expenses so I don't overrun my per diem. It was a nightmare. I mean I had to watch four games in four days. No man should do that." said a sportswriter who wished to remain anonymous.
The glut of news about the four games in four days lent itself to comparisons to running an ultra marathon of 100 miles, but with more caloric intake and sitting around watching other people run.
Mayor de Blasio finished his remarks by saying "Indeed, these heroic writers can show our food cart workers, sanitation engineers, and firefighters a few things about dedication to a job. How anyone could write a column that superficially compares three teams who played for about 90 minutes on four separate dates and then manages to coalesce the things that they find into a cohesive overview about soccer in the New York area is beyond me."