LOS ANGELES - Desperate to put people to sleep before games, during half time, and after games, Fox Sports added Landon Donovan to the studio to comment on games.
"We know that MLS Legend Landon Donovan's ability to state plain facts in a wooden manner is unparalleled in American soccer, and we hope that we can combine his commentary with a sponsorship for Unisom to really help North American sleep problems" said Fox director of programming Julio Desansanza.
"MLS Legend Landon Donovan's voice helps bridge the gap between the readily awake and the snoring heavily asleep. We count on this to make people fall asleep and leave their channel on Fox Sports for higher ratings."
The Nutmeg News reached out to Donovan for comment and he had the following to say, "I'm so happy about MLS Legend Landon Donovan's appointment. MLS Legend Landon Donovan is going to be fantastic talking about MLS Legend Landon Donovan and the horrifying reality that Major League Soccer no longer has MLS Legend Landon Donovan."
TNN spoke to man on the street Timothy Stephens, a 25 year old bank teller in Chula Vista, for his comment on the appointment and received the following, "Well, Goddammit."