WASHINGTON - Sky Sports will be sending three reporters to various cities across the United States to cover the Collective Bargaining Agreement deadline day.
Citing a recent lack of dildo antics and general background male on male sex acts in their broadcasts, Sky has reportedly embedded reporters in New York City, Washington DC, and Los Angeles in an effort to film fans reactions to the final collective bargaining agreement release.
“After the great internet response to our coverage of the Premier League deadline day, we decided that interviewing uneducated people in the United States about complex labor issues in their local soccer league would increase our daily viewership and make ourselves feel better about things”, said chairman of North American television rights William Darrowshire. "Plus, think about the kinds of dildos that can be shoved in our reporters ears in the United States! Great big ones with stars and stripes painted on them and fireworks exploding out the end! Glorious dildos that play the national anthem as they vibrate in tune with the crescendos!"
Las Vegas was reportedly one of the sites floated by Sky Sports as a potential target but was dropped because reportedly Sky Sports were afraid that they would be forced to cover Rupert Murdoch's alleged secret sexual dungeon underneath the strip that is filled with life size, anatomically correct wax sculptures of Margaret Thatcher.