Omaha, NE - In response to the public outcry over the scathing article about the American Outlaws (AO) that, among other claims, alleged a severe lack of respect for female fans including an incident of unwanted fondling, the American Outlaws organization today has announced that they will begin a new PR campaign to try and not only draw in new female fans but to also repair relationships with the old.
Bruce Ternasky, a representative from the American Outlaws, met with TNN at the Omaha Hooters ‘restaurant’ to go over their new strategy to try and mend fences. “The ladies are super important to us and we have got to have them in here on game day, bro. We don’t want the AO to turn into a giant sausage fest, you know what I’m saying?” He illustrated this point by touching the tips of his index fingers together and slowly shaking his head.
We then asked Mr. Ternasky to expound upon their proposed two-pronged approach to increasing the female membership in the group. “Well first off we want to encourage the chicks we do got to help by bringing all their girlfriends along to support the USMNT. So we came up with a plan to reward members by giving them membership discounts if they bring a new friend who signs up. We are calling this campaign: ‘Does She Have A Sister?’ and we think it will be awesome at bringing in fresh meat, I mean members.”
Mr. Ternasky paused momentarily to do three ‘Jager-bombs’ and then continued. “As for the girls who we chased off? Look, these girls have got to know that we didn’t really mean it, it’s just supporting the team, it didn’t mean anything. It’s not a great excuse but when there’s a lot of drinking going on we’re going say and do things we regret later on. We’re sorry and we just want a chance to make it up to them. That’s why we created the second campaign called “Aw, Come On Baby, You Know We Loves You” designed to specifically bring back those we have hurt in the past. We’re going to treat all those ladies so much better this time, we just need another chance. We’re going to wine ‘em, dine ‘em, and sixty-nine ‘em.”
After finishing a Corona, Ternasky then got up and left, leaving TNN to pick up the tab.