Abby Wambach Tired Of Those Foreigners Stealing All Those Jobs

During an interview with Bill "I only capitalize on soccer when I'm bored" Simmons, Abby Wambach stated that she would fire United States Men's Coach Jurgen Klinsmann because he brought a bunch of foreigners into the team.

"We need to build a wall of red tape against these foreign fullbacks." - Abby Wambach

"We need to build a wall of red tape against these foreign fullbacks." - Abby Wambach

"They are taking our men's JOBS!" stated Abby Wambach as she also announced her endorsement of carpet bombing Syria.  "The way that he (Klinsmann) has changed and brought in these foreign guys, it’s just not something that I believe inWe should build a wall of legal red tape to prevent any of those refugees and foreigners from coming into our national teams."

Wambach also stated her support for preventing dual nationals from picking the United States as their team stating, "Check their blood, if they don't bleed 'MURICA then I don't want them in my country. I'm so tired of these damn foreigners coming over and playing midfielder or right back or centerback. It's time that we focus on making America's United States Men's Team great again."

Wambach continued her rant stating, "I am America. I am the United States. I'm from the United States. I don't want that shit coming into our teams and polluting them with their foreign influences. Klinsmann OUT. Fabian Johnson OUT. Jermaine Jones OUT. Darlington Nagbe OUT. Chris Wondolowski OUT, his name just SOUNDS too foreign."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Wambach announces her run for the Republican presidential nomination.