Portland, OR - Timbers fans across the United States have reportedly stated that they can't wait to become the most insufferable fan base in the league if they win the 2015 Major League Soccer Cup on Sunday December 6th.
"If we win it is going to be the most obnoxious and copious amount of circle jerking that you have ever seen in your life" said Timbers fan Kelly Sanders. "We are going to flood every form of social media with our self proclaimed greatness and it is going to make our current constant circle jerk over our crowd and passion seem like child's play."
The Nutmeg News spoke to Timbers fan Noelle Brigham about this condition, "You think we are bad now? Just wait til we win the cup. Oh man... oh man.... It's going to be great. Our 'we are the Timbers and we are the best' mentality is going to just be so over the top that it will be impossible to escape. We might even throw a celebration for ourselves and the major victory that we obtained. We don't even need the team there to celebrate."
TNN reporters also spoke with Harold Dubois of Gresham about this phenomenon and he had the following to say, "For 40 years we have only ever had the greatness of our crowd and fans to talk about. Now just imagine adding in a trophy and having the best team in the league. My god. The blowback from this will be amazing. Our tifo celebrating our self will be epic. The 107ist already invited Major League Soccer to make a video about our bureaucracy that leads to our tifo displays with the video crew planning on making a long form documentary about the planning committee talking to the design committee about making a financial appropriation that leads to a tifo display. Expect this 30 minute documentary to be shot in 4k standard and available to download with the proceeds being donated to a local charity that helps children cope with the loss of their pets. We also have a reporter from the Guardian writing a column on the charity and the film and the tifo, as well, giving us four way coverage of the whole affair."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it happens regardless of the win or not.