Red Bull New York Fan Finds Happiness In Return To Disappointment

NEW YORK - Zachary Ailes, a  long time Red Bull New York (RBNY) fan, has admitted that he is finding solace in the return to the disappointment that the team has typically given him in the past.

 A return to crushing disappointment

A return to crushing disappointment

"I wasn't comfortable with all this winning and trophies we have had over the past few years," said Ailes to his friends on Sunday night as he attempted to drown his sorrows. "People may want to pretend that everything was finally going well and that the team had turned a corner but it is comforting to know that everything is currently still how it has been for the past 20 seasons. I mean, that was a vintage Metro in the playoffs performance and it honestly feels comforting."

Friends of Mr Ailes, that he brought on board in the last three seasons, were reportedly crushed by the first round playoff loss, but Mr Ailes stated, "Get used to it guys. I could tell you stories that would make you stop following this team and never look back. Hell, just the story about using Metro versus Red Bull in our songs is a nuanced one, much less about our inability to get the job done in the playoffs. Either way we have another game for Red Bull to crap away and hopefully we will get a chance to really have another eventful offseason because I'm absolutely certain that is what all the fans want. Maybe we will even get another coach firing! Now THAT would be so Metro."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Jesse Marsch gets a vote of confidence in the first week of December.