NPSL Fan Does Deep Dive Into Statistics To Figure Out If Don Garber Insulted Chattanooga

Nashville, TN - National Premier Soccer League fan and Nashville FC fan Drew Harrod took a deep dive into city statistics, average attendance, per capita consumption of soccer and overall metroplex support on Thursday night in order to figure out whether Don Garber insulted Chattanooga FC or not.

 "This is the only pyramid I support. My own."

"This is the only pyramid I support. My own."

"I have to figure out if that was an insult, an accurate statement or perhaps a combination of the both," said Mr Harrod online to a collection of anonymous strangers that really didn't give two shits about Commissioner Garber's statements until they realized how much fun it was to use it as a vehicle for attacks on the league. "If he was talking about an average attendance over the course of a year than we could say that he was speaking accurately."

Chattanooga native and soccer fan Wes Turnbull was incredulous at this, "Of course it is a dig. It doesn't matter whether the statistics were right or wrong, the commissioner of another league being a prick to a city for really no reason what so ever doesn't need to be accepted if he got the statistics moderately right. He is just being a dick!"

However, Mr Harrod didn't see it that way as he stated, "Well, if his statistics are right then he was merely illuminating the situation for all of us to see. After all, if the statistics and data show that you are indeed a shit city, a shit team playing on a shit field in front a shit crowd with no money then you should be mocked relentlessly by everyone. Garber was just getting out in front of that train. I'm going to now look through city planning records and compare the growth of the urban core to that of Salt Lake to give some kind of data point to the idea of MLS expansion and the overall shit ability of your team. At this point that will help me determine if Garber's comments are 100% correct, which they likely are, at which point you all should stop whining because if a persons statistics are correct they can be a complete ass all the time."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this at the next comment period by Don Garber.