American Outlaws Surprised To Find Soccer League In North America

Cincinnati, OH - On the heels of the 2014 World Cup run, US Men’s National Team fans known as the American Outlaws were stunned to find that a soccer league had sprung up in their backyard.

“I was shocked, absolutely shocked,” says Peter Wendowski, a long time American Outlaw member since 2013, “Here I was thinking that the only soccer I was going to get until the next World Cup three years from now was Real Madrid vs Barcelona and my kids U-12 games. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that there was an entire soccer league in my own country and there was even one of those teams in my own state.”

Peter went on to discuss the benefits of this new discovery. “Well, it’s great because it gives my kid something to look forward to, you know? Now that there’s more than just eleven soccer players in America he can now dream of one day playing for Columbus FC or whatever it’s called.”

When asked about his opinion on the renaming of the USL Pro soccer league to simply USL he replied, “There’s more than one league? You’re shitting me.”


Klinsmann Fires Back At Critics

BERLIN - Jurgen Klinsmann, the coach of the United States National Team, released a torrid criticism of the people who are criticizing him for releasing critical comments about the press who were criticizing Klinsmann for criticizing his players.

"At some point the United States will learn how to analyze on the fifth plane of meta-analysis" said the coach addressing a gathered mob of irate Twitter users stationed outside his winter home in the highlands of Berlin.

"I spend every morning being critical of myself for being critical of myself about being critical of my players not be critical enough about their careers. The least I can expect is that Brek Shea show up in shape to do the same."

TNN had a correspondent onsite and asked irate Twitter user Geoff Rampin his opinion about the situation. "Klinsmann ain't got no right to be up in their grills! He doesn't even play no more!" said the blogger also known by his twitter handle @smokinbluntz69usmnt

TNN will cover this situation as it develops.