Tauntaun Death Delays Fan Arrival To USMNT Game

Minneapolis, MN - The death of an Uber tauntaun has reportedly delayed the arrival of USMNT fan Jeffrey Anderson to the upcoming World Cup Qualifier this evening.

“We were crossing the frozen plains of Clifton French Park and the tauntaun just keeled over,” stated Anderson. “Uber claimed these things were rated to -20 but it looks like it could only take so much.”

Sources with Uber state that they are investigating the death of the tauntaun as they indicate that there was, “no issue with the tauntaun on their last maintenance check.”

With Anderson stranded out in the frozen urban wilderness and calling for an additional ride, Uber stated that they would be working to send out another tauntaun unless Anderson wants to pay for an upgrade to a luxury T-47 airspeeder, which would get him to the game on time.

“We apologize to Mr. Anderson however we are unable to refund him the money at this time,” stated Uber. “As part of our policy we will investigate this and he is fully able to schedule another tauntaun to pick him up.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Anderson takes matters into his hands and hunkers down in the innards of his tauntaun as he mutters a prayer into his gore covered United States flag cape and prays for the comfort of not losing a toe due to frostbite at the game tonight.