NEW YORK - Red Bull fan Philip Henderson finally took responsibility, today, for his 12:01 AM January 1, 2020 Twitter post of, “WOO! 2020! Bring it on!! What could go wrong!”
WELCOME TO HELL!
A tearful Henderson took to a makeshift lectern on his Instagram stories to finally apologize for the tweet that caused the world and the United States to crumble into one disaster after another.
“I admit that I denied my responsibility in all of this when the Coronavirus first hit,” stated Henderson to The Nutmeg News. “But it’s become very clear that my Tweet has completely transformed the United States into a ruinous and unending hellscape from which there is no escape because no country will have us.”
Friends of Henderson state that they do fault him for all of the problems with regards to 2020 as he has now become a meme among their group for everything that is wrong.
“Yeah, we always talk about not wanting to Paul something,” stated friend Stacy Adams. “I heard someone say, ‘don’t put that Paul on me,’ and it really makes sense if you think about it.”
For his part, Henderson stated that he thinks his tweet can hardly claim victory for the removal of Chris Armas as he stated, “well, that was going to happen no matter what.” However, Henderson expressed his sympathies to the west coast for the chaotic fires that are currently devastating the area as he stated, “Just because the president is a racist sociopath doesn’t prohibit me, the og tweet sender, from stating my compassion and love of people in the area. My thoughts and well wishes are with you all and I only wish to retract my original tweet regarding 2020.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Henderson scours Twitter for someone who sent that kind of tweet at 12:00:59