Austin, TX - Carpetbagging shithead Anthony Precourt celebrated the MLS Cup win by the Columbus Crew by planning to screw additional groups of fans, in the future.

“I guess you can say I’m a bit of an anti-hero,” stated Precourt into a silver plated hand mirror. “Adversity makes people more motivated. You can now see the full scope of my work, my… yes… MY masterpiece. I can’t wait to do the same with my new team.”

Precourt indicated that he found it really hard to disassociate his work in making the Crew painful to enjoy with their MLS Cup victory

“This just made me realize that I should do the same things to Austin FC because they’ll win the MLS Cup after,” stated Precourt. “After I sigh a terrible television deal, cut staff, let the stadium decline, and exploit an additional loophole to move the team to San Diego… well…. First they are going to suffer.... but after I'm gone... It'll be championship after championship. I’m doing them a FAVOR, you see.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as Anthony Precourt starts planning for the future “Save Austin FC” campaign.