Fan Wishes Cult Player Was Actually A Little Bit Better At Soccer

Des Moines, IA - Soccer fan David Williams stated that he wished that cult player Jason “fizzy” Fitzgerald was actually better at soccer as he painted another two-pole with the players face.


“Everyone loves fizzy,” stated Williams to The Nutmeg News. “He gets it…. you know? He totally understands the town and he understands us. I just… look I hate saying this, but I just wish he was actually better at the game of soccer.”

Fitzgerald has been a fan favorite for Williams and his fellow supporters for the past three seasons as he plays with heart and isn’t afraid to take a stance on issues important to the fans.

“My friends saw him out at Costco and he hung out and talked to them for 30 minutes,” stated Williams. “And he really went out of his way to help out the Gutierrez family when their house was nearly burned to the ground. Everyone loves him. Look, people took a picture of him when he marched in Pride and he wasn’t even there for promotion, just because he felt strongly about supporting the community. He showed up for every game wearing a supporters group scarf this year that he autographs and auctions off to raise money for local schools. The guy is a freaking legend, I just wish he was actually a little bit better at the game of soccer.”

According to reports, Fitzgerald played infrequently this season as his tendency to switch off defensively in the midfield made him a liability. However, during the playoff run last season, he was instrumental in the defense.

“He isn’t the greatest on the field, but I honestly don’t care…. for the most part,” stated supporter Laura Ardo. “He’s a great guy, and an absolute legend… he just has a tendency to kinda… not pay attention some times, but he’s still a legend. Did you hear the story about how he grew out his hair in order to donate it to locks of love and then live streamed the haircut to raise money for a women’s shelter? God, I love him although I do wish he kept his head in the game.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the fans prepare a T.I.F.O display for Fitzgerald despite the protest of fan Jerry Smith who left a Facebook comment saying that he was tired of, “Fitzgerald’s constant virtue signaling when he should be working on completing passes and winning games..”