Major League Soccer Announces Ban On Pride Flags

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer announced that the LGBTQ pride flag would be banned across the entirety of the league as they stated that the flag is inherently political and divisive among the general fanbase of Major League Soccer.


Citing the use by, “extremists from ANTIFA, the Gay Liberation Front and rioters across North America,” Don Garber stated that the Pride flag could not possibly be used for any other purpose than division and political rhetoric.

“26% of the United States believes that Gay and Lesbian relationships between consenting adults should not be legal,” stated Commissioner Garber. “According to recent polling, 36 percent of the United States think that marriages between gay and lesbian couples should not be recognized. I think we need to understand that the constant use of the pride flag by fans that attend games at our venues is not being hospitable to a large number of Americans. We are talking about 117,720,000 people in the United States that we are turning away from soccer due to these flags. Honestly, that’s a lot of money.”

Shocked millennials stated they were surprised to find that Pride flags would be declared illegal and political as they stated that they didn’t find them political at all.

“How is pride political,” stated David Henderson (22) of Kansas City. “All we do for pride is go out and have fun and drink.”

For their part, however, Major League Soccer stated that they understood the difficulty that would come from removing the ubiquitous rainbow flags throughout the league.

“We call on our fans to abandon all their political ideals and just focus on sports,” stated Commissioner Garber. “We want to bring fans together and not isolate them. If we lose even one fan because of a trans flag or an LGBTQ banner then I consider that a very sad thing indeed.”.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when it happens.