NEW YORK - Standing tall on their own laurels of stupidity, Major League Soccer clarified that they were explicitly banning the Iron Front flag as it is, “a direct rebuke of our forcible suppression of opposition, and strong regimentation of society and of the economy.”
MLS reportedly stated that the anti-fascist, anti-royalty and anti-communism flag is directly opposed to the way they want to run a league as they released multiple statements via team outlets that indicated, “please turn on your fellow fans and snitch to management so you can get someone banned for 6 to 12 months.”
Insiders state that their attempts to convince the league to handle this differently fell on deaf ears.
“I told them this whole thing is a dumb idea that did nothing but elevate the profile of the Iron Front flag in all of these supporters groups, but I didn’t have any money to offer them for commercials so they didn’t listen to me,” stated one MLS employee.
“How on earth it could be that anyone thinks turning fans on each other through an official Team/League edict is a good idea…. we’ve lost our mind,” stated one MLS employee.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the league decides to place bounties on peoples heads in order to quell the ever present menace of a piece of fabric.