Real Salt Lake Atmosphere Expected To Increase By .8% After Governor Signs Law Increasing Beer ABW To 4.0

Sandy, UT - The atmosphere in Rio Tinto stadium is expected to increase by .8% during the 2020 season after Governor Gary Herbert signed SB132, making way for higher-alcohol beer in grocery stores, convenience stores, and draft beer served in restaurants and bars.

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“I’m going to be .8% drunker and .8% louder,” stated Real Salt Lake (RSL) fan Audra Hawthorne of Salt City United.

Sources within Real Salt Lake indicate that they hope that this increase in ABW (alcohol by weight) will also increase the home field advantage as they attempted to try to figure out the net positive.

“A .8% increase in home field advantage could be the difference between hosting a home playoff game and a first round exit,” stated one RSL insider. “We are hoping that the changes we can make to our taps at the game will flow through our fans, pun intended.”

Some fans remain skeptical, however, as RSL fan Dave Williams illuminated, “I’d rather have a vodka cranberry at the stadium bar and that’s NEVER been 3.2% so I don’t really know why anyone thinks this is going to be that big of a deal. Now if they could start selling 10% ABV Mike’s Harder Lemonade or Smirnoff Ice….. then we would see a real home field advantage.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Bud Light still tastes like piss water.