42 Year Old USWNT Fan Uses "Stan" Unironically

Bethesda, MD - 42 year old soccer fan Heather Armstrong reportedly used the word stan in a sincere fashion to describe her appreciation and love of Christen Press as she boldly attempted to shed 20 years of time by linguistically jumping generations to the vocabulary of a young 20 year old.

“But i really DO stan for Christen Press.”

“But i really DO stan for Christen Press.”

”It didn’t appear that she was trying to be funny,” stated online friend Phillipa Stevens. “She just tweeted, ‘I stan so hard for Christen Press,’ and then we were all left wondering what the hell happened.”

According to her online Twitter presence, Armstrong never used the word Stan (to describe an obsessive and overzealous love) before her tweet about Ms. Press. However, friends say that she dabbled in other young slang prior to this moment.

“Yeah, she went through a time where she tried out Fleek, Lit, and Savage in her in-person vernacular,” stated good friend Thera Windamere. “It came and went, but I honestly felt like most of it was just a joke on current popular culture. I never felt like she really meant the words without some kind of humor.”

Online friends state that they are concerned that Armstrong’s new attempt at incorporating Stan into her online vocabulary may be the sign of a mid-life crisis as they looked out for other signs of this happening such as picking up a new hobby,talking about leaving her life behind and moving into a one bedroom studio in New York City, looking at pictures of Landrovers, and talking about going back to school to get a degree as an Anthropologist.

“This is one of those things where she needs to be careful,” stated online friend @Megatron420XXX. “She starts with Stan and the next thing you know she is recording a podcast about hentai memes and bruja culture. It’s a slippery slope.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Armstrong repeats herself next week by tweeting, “I stan so hard for Tobin Heath,” as friends just wonder if she is abusing the format, now.